DESCRIPTION
In this episode of the @CancerInterviews podcast, Molly Lindquist tells host Bruce Morton how she survived breast cancer. She was only 32 when detected a lump in her left breast. A trip to the doctor led to a biopsy, which led to her diagnosis, and a subsequent bilateral mastectomy.
Molly discovered the lump while taking a shower. She thought it to be seen by her OBGYN. The doctor thought the lump was likely nothing to be worried about, given Molly’s age, but nonetheless ordered an ultrasound. After the ultrasound, the doctor called for a mammogram. After that, a biopsy. Then a radiologist walked into the room and said, “We suspect this is cancer.”
Molly Lindquist and her care team came up with a treatment plan. She would undergo a bilateral mastectomy with chemotherapy. The cancer was caught at an early stage. The prognosis was good.
Even though the cancer was one breast, she opted to have both removed. After the surgery, it took Molly a while to regain mobility and energy. Next up was the chemotherapy.
She experienced just about all of the awful side effects associated with chemotherapy. Hair loss, fatigue, the awful taste of food and cognitive issues. She spent a lot of time on the couch watching TV and said it was jarring as one who was in good shape pre-diagnosis, found herself struggling to cross from one end of a room to the other. As for the brain fog, Molly says it still materializes from time to time, to this day.
Molly Lindquist said she sensed her health was taking a turn for the better when her hair started growing back. Overall, day to day, Molly says she is doing great. There are some residual aches and pains, but she is very thankful to have them because she is still here, to have them. Her other emotion was a fervent wish to help others diagnosed with breast cancer.
She joined an organization called Manta Cares. It seeks to help those diagnosed with every imaginable phase of the breast cancer journey.
By way of advice, Molly Lindquist suggests to anyone to be there for a friend or loved one on a cancer journey, whether it is with a hug or a sympathetic ear or knowing when to give them their space.
Additional Resources:
Support Groups:
Manta Cares: https://www.mantacares.com
Breast Friends: https://www.breastfriends.org
TRANSCRIPT
Bruce Morton: The breast cancer journey does not begin and end with treatment. Our guest on this episode not only survived breast cancer but went on to become part of an organization that strives to provide help for every imaginable aspect of the journey. She is Molly Lindstrom of Portland, Oregon, and this is her story of treatment…and post-treatment. So, here she is, and Molly, welcome to the Cancer Interviews podcast.
Molly Lindquist: Thanks, Bruce. Thank you so much for having me.
BM: Molly, before we get into our interview, we want to learn about life exclusive of cancer, so if you would, tell us a bit about where you are from, what you do for work, and what you do when you are having fun.
ML: I am from Portland, Oregon and I actually was born and raised here, which these days in Portland, I think of myself as sort of a unicorn. I spent about a decade in the San Francisco Bay Area. I went to Stanford University for my undergraduate degree and actually ended up meeting my husband there. We lived in the Bay Area for about ten years, had our first daughter in San Francisco. Once I was tethering the stroller strapped to my wrist each time we were walking up and down the hills of San Francisco, we decided that maybe it was time to go back to Portland. We moved back in 2008, right before the birth of my second daughter. So, most of my free time these days is spent shlepping kids to various activities. I have a volleyball-playing daughter and a figure skating daughter, so a lot of time in the gym and at the rink. I also love reading and playing golf as well.
BM: Now, let’s go to your cancer journey. Physically, when did something happen that wasn’t normal, tat got your attention?
ML: Bruce, I always think of it as my life ‘BC,” Before Cancer. I was relatively young when I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I was 32 years old, my daughters were three and five at the time. I had the somewhat typical experience of feeling something funny in my breast when I was taking a shower. You know, my first inclination was I am 32, this is probably nothing, but I did have two grandmothers on both sides of the family who had had breast cancer, one pre-menopausely and one post-menopausely, and so that inspired me to get this checked out. That very quickly turned into a routine visit to my OBGYN. She said it was probably nothing, but she said she could order an ultrasound. I vividly remember wandering between rooms as the ultrasound turned into a mammogram, which turned into an immediate biopsy. I literally felt like I was swimming, wondering what is happening right now. I hadn’t even thought to ask my husband to attend the appointment with me because I thought it was nothing and I didn’t want him to take time off work; but then the radiologist came in and said, “We suspect this is my cancer,” and that was the moment that the life “BC” shattered, and the new normal began.
BM: Molly, everybody has a somewhat different reaction to learning they were diagnosed with cancer. Obviously, this is horrible news, but when you got, what went through your mind?
ML: I went through the typical stages of grief. First, it was denial. How is this happening? Then, it was the realization that I needed a plan. I tend to be kind of a Type ‘A’ personality, and I think the hardest part for me was that point of diagnosis to when we had a treatment plan in place, which for me entailed a bilateral mastectomy via chemo. Ironically, although I was certainly nervous about the surgery and treatments, etc., I wanted that cancer out. It was almost like I could feel it growing within me. For me, once I had the plan, emotionally and mentally, I felt much more control of the situation, and then of course, there was the balancing of two small children. My husband is actually a physician. His co-workers were amazing and covered his shifts so he could go to chemo with me. My family stepped in to help plan meals and care for my kids. I am so incredibly grateful for the support system I had, and the friends that came out of the woodwork, people I hadn’t heard from in forever, they were sending meals and just a text to tell me they were thinking about me. I think in talking now about my diagnosis with a lot of other patients, it is really isolating. You feel alone. You feel like the world is going on around you while you are paused in this moment of fear and panic and it is incredibly isolating, so even just to get a text was incredibly, incredibly helpful during my diagnosis and treatment time. I have vowed since then to pay it forward. I can never repay the kindness that my community showed me, but I can hopefully show that to others, and hopefully help others to have a little bit easier experience, as much as that’s possible.
BM: We’re confident you’ll be able to learn some tips and tools to help you through your cancer journey, but first we’d like to invite you please give us a ‘like,’ leave a comment or review below and share this story with your friends. Kindly click on the Subscribe button below and click on the Bell icon, so you’ll be notified when we release our next interview. And if you or a loved one are facing a cancer diagnosis, please click on the link in the description and Show Notes below to check out our free guide, “The Top Ten Things I Wish I Knew When I First Got Cancer.”
Molly, it sounds like you had a powerful, full arsenal of support, a lot of metaphoric wind at your back as you went through this journey. Given that level of support, was it relatively-easy to maintain a level of hope through all this?
ML: To be honest, that hope ebbed and flowed. There were some days that I woke up and said, “This, too, shall pass,” you know, I just have to push through and make it through; but there would be other times that I would wake up and ask, “Why me?”, and I think having that support system through the emotional ups and downs was incredibly helpful. I knew that my prognosis was good, early stage, it had been caught early. I do have a genetic mutation, so I think what compounded my experience. I was thinking how this was going to affect my daughters, who were three and five at the time, so very little at the time; but knowing this whole cancer thing was going to be the gift that kept on giving in terms of my own personal experience, you know, long-term side effects from cancer. Through it all, specifically, that I did have my community that rallied around me, they gave me hope when I was in those dark nadirs of feeling sick after chemo, those people picked me up and carried me through those valleys. That’s something I can never repay, but again, I hope to pay that forward.
BM: Molly, you had mentioned that you and your care team came up with a gameplan for treatment of your cancer, but if you would, tell us about the treatment regimen. Of what did it consist?
ML: As I mentioned, I had a bilateral mastectomy. I only had cancer in one breast, but it was extensive, so it felt like one tumor, but it was a cluster of tumors. So, the bilateral for me, I opted to get rid of both breasts because for me, the mental piece of it, there is not a lot of data that actually shows that’s necessary. However, I knew I would just be constantly worrying about it and thinking about it. My Type ‘A’, kind of anxious personality was just catapulted through this experience. The surgery itself was trying, and I was a little bit arrogant and thought these statistics are for older people. I was in my early thirties, I thought. I will bounce right back; but having that surgery is no joke. It took me a while to regain mobility and energy. Once I was healed from that, I started chemo. Clearly some patients now will have chemo before their surgery, so there are a lot of different treatment paths. Mine happened after and it was really kind of a progressive thing and again what I was most concerned about how would my daughters react when I lost my hair. For people watching versus listening, I have my old hair back, which is long, and I thought that might scare my kids. Here’s a funny anecdote. My three-year-old at the time, we were explaining that mommy has to take this medicine, it’s called chemo, it’s gonna make the bad cancer cells go away, but sometimes it gets other cells, which means my hair might fall out, but it will be really funny. You can call me, “Baldy Mommy,” and they thought that was hilarious. But that backfired on me, Bruce, because we were out in public and my three-year-old spotted a gentleman who did not have hair as well, started pointing at him and saying, “Hey, Baldy!” I pulled off my hat and it was clear why she was doing that. You know, we tried to normalize their experience as much as possible and really just answer the questions that kids are coming to present. My five-year-old said, “Mom, are you going to die?”, and I think just that moment, just the innocence, that straight-to-the-point question, it just really got me. That was the moment when all of this really started to hit home in terms of what does this mean. Thankfully, I am still here to annoy her now as a teenager. For me, I was lucky, but I know many friends who have passed, and I carry each of them with me, and not to harp on the ‘pay it forward,’ but I try to recognize that they’re not here to do those things, so I will do those things for them. So, again, I feel like I have this army in my heart of these amazing people who were taken too soon, who inspire me and motivate me, and again, and keep me on mission of trying to help others going through this experience.
BM: Speaking of this experience, chemo was part of it, and some things that we often hear are part and parcel of the chemo experience are fatigue, the awful taste of food and cognitive issues. Were any of those part of your experience?
ML: All of the above, Bruce. I remember I would be laying on the couch, I did a lot of binge-watching of Netflix at the time, so I would be watching my shows, and I would get up to go across the room to the kitchen and just incredibly winded. As a young, relatively in-shape person at that point, it was very jarring to go from feeling in good health to struggling to even cross the room, so the fatigue was definitely real. The taste of food, I tried to avoid things that I really liked because everything tasted a little off. I think it impacted everything and to be honest with you. As far as the cognitive, I think the ‘chemo brain’ still exists, even as far away as I am from my treatment. I use ‘chemo brain’ instead of maybe ‘aging brain,’ it could be a little bit more of the latter, the cognitive piece of it is absolutely there and something that historically has been dismissed as being in a patient’s head, but absolutely, the brain fog, not being able to grasp words, for me that had never been a problem prior to cancer, but absolutely was, especially during treatment and frankly still hits me periodically.
BM: Molly, we had talked about that stage in which you noticed your health taking a turn for the worse, but we want to flip the script. Can you recall a point in which you could genuinely feel things were changing for the better?
ML: I remember when my hair first started growing back. I was that turning point when I felt like Spring had come, the flowers were starting to bloom and there were these little sprouts on my head, and I think I felt so grateful. I think my overarching emotion, even on the dark days, was gratitude for the things I did have versus trying not to dwell on the things that I had lost in the experience. So, that growth was that very fine, little baby growth covering of hair and it just felt so transformative. I think very quickly for me into asking myself how I could channel this experience which I wouldn’t wish upon anyone, but we only have control over certain things in our lives and I didn’t have control over the fact that I got cancer, but I do have control of what I want to do with that experience, going forward; so, for me, very quickly it became, “This sucked. Not fun.” How can I use that to help others, going forward? The focus on creating purpose out of the experience really helped me get out of the funk of active treatment and not feeling well at an emotional level.
BM: And we want to talk about you are doing for others, but first, one more question about your cancer journey. If you can think of yourself as ‘100 percent’ pre-diagnosis, how close to that are you now, if you could quantify?
ML: I have no complaints, Bruce. I don’t know in terms of a percentage because it gets a little conflated with aging. People complain about wrinkles and slowing down and aches and pains, and man, I am grateful for every ache and pain that I have the privilege of experiencing these days because I have friends that have not had that opportunity. Day to day, I am doing fantastic. I live with certain treatments. However, I am able to manage those, I think. My biggest tip for other cancer patients and survivors is to do not hesitate to reach out for mental health support because I think we focus so much on physically getting well, physically treating the body to get rid of the cancer, but you are going through an emotional rollercoaster and it’s okay to ask for help for that. It took me a while to feel like I could do that, but it has been incredibly helpful, even years past my diagnosis to have support in that realm. I am doing great. I am busy annoying my kids with my mom jokes and my dad jokes and trying to be a positive aspect of people’s cancer experience.
BM: You talked about wanting to help other cancer patients. Those are nice sentiments, but you put those sentiments into action. If you would, talk about the genesis of going forward with an organization called Manta Cares, and what it does.
ML: Absolutely. I was very fortunate to be introduced to Samira Daswani, the founder of Manta Cares. She is a fellow breast cancer survivor, and once you are in the club, the unfortunate cancer club, you tend to find these amazing people through that experience. She actually created a paper planner while she was going through chemo to stay organized. Her professional background is in bioengineering and health care design, so ironically, she was very well prepared for when she personally had her diagnosis of breast cancer. That paper planner has now helped more than 1,500 people. It is available for purchase on Amazon or on the Manta Cares website and we are rolling out a digital platform. This helps patients to navigate their cancer experience. The web address is www.mantacares.com.
BM: Here is an interesting question, Molly, and I am wondering if you have given this much thought. What if Manta Cares had been around when you were going through your cancer journey, and if you had it at your disposal, would it have changed your approach to your cancer journey?
ML: Bruce, that is exactly why I got involved with Manta Cares, because the minute I saw the planner, I said to myself I wish I would have had this when I was going through my experience. The organizational piece, the gratitude journal, there are lots of science-backed frameworks in the planner to help navigate the cancer experience. Documenting the experience is incredibly helpful and scientifically proven to improve the outcomes as well. It’s a win-win. I wish I had had it.
BM: We are going to wrap things up, and we always try to conclude the same way wit this question: If you encountered someone who had just been diagnosed with breast cancer, there might be lots of things you would want to share with them; but if there are one or two things, two points you would want to be sure to drive home, what would they be?
ML: First of all, I would ask them if they needed a hug. I would offer that because can be the most useful part of the experience, a hug, a shoulder to cry on. Secondly, I would say just keep moving forward. There are going to be days that are incredibly hard, and there are going to be days that provide silver linings that one can’t possibly imagine, so just keep going, you can do it.
BM: Molly, I think in a cyber kind of way you have already given the listener and viewer a bit of a hug, so we are already off to a good start. So, Molly Lindstrom, Portland, Oregon, want to thank you so much for sharing your time with us, thanks for being with us on Cancer Interviews.
ML: Thank you, Bruce. I really enjoyed it.
BM: And we want to remind you that if you or a loved on are on a cancer journey, you are not alone. There are people like Molly, organizations like Manta Cares, that can ease the journey. Again, that is www.mantacares.com. So, until next time, we’ll see you on down the road.
Additional Resources:
Support Groups:
Manta Cares www.mantacares.com
Breast Friends: www.breastfriends.org
SHOW NOTES
TITLE: Molly Lindquist, Breast Cancer Survivor – Portland, Oregon, USA
When Molly Lindquist detected a lump in her left breast, she didn’t think it was a big deal. After all, she was 32 years old and in good health. But a trip to the doctor triggered a chain of events that culminated with a bilateral mastectomy. Molly survived breast cancer and immediately wanted to take action to help others. She joined Manta Cares, an organization that seeks to provide those diagnosed with breast cancer with a roadmap to make their journey as smooth as possible.
Additional Resources:
Support Groups:
Manta Cares www.mantacares.com
Breast Friends www.breastfriends.org
Time Stamps:
02:28 Molly discovered a lump in her left breast.
03:30 Learned she had cancer.
04:09 Her reaction to the diagnosis.
07:27 During her journey, her level of hope ebbed and flowed.
09:20 Describes treatment regimen.
14:15 Molly recalls the effects of chemotherapy.
16:08 Remembers when she felt she was recovering from cancer.
18:03 Says her health is good.
23:54 Molly’s message to those diagnosed with breast cancer.
KEYWORDS (tags):
cancer
breast cancer
chemotherapy
cancer interviews
mammogram
biopsy
bruce morton
bilateral mastectomy
molly lindquist
chemo
samira daswani
תגובות